Deep in the Heart of ......Archive for April, 2009
ever-arrows..
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Every day is a day to L8ve…
From arrows to flowers.. Valentines art for the moon.
Sexpo 2009… 4.29.09
Posted by: | CommentsApril 29, 2009
Excalibar Chicago
Master and i will be attending and playing with the Continuum Dungeon Crew.
Master and i attended last year and had a WONDERFUL time..
i really look forward to Sirving my Master at this FUN and XXXciting event!
a slaves devotion…
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a slaves devotion…
a slave kneels and is ready.
a slave looks up in honor.
a slave speaks the truth.
a slave puts Master before self.
a slave is Masters tool or toy.
a slave is all giving , all giving.
a slaves heart is true and clear.
a slaves action is an extension of Master.
a slave acts in accord with Master.
a slave always has Masters best interest in mind.
a slave is pure in intent.
a slave is selfless.
a slave is devoted.
a slave is what i am.
a slaves devotion…
The Gift that keeps on Giving…
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Masters Birthday Gift
The Gift that keeps on giving….
awareness…
introspection…
egolessness…
faith,,,
patience….
devotion…
Gifts that my Master gave me for my birthday. Things that aren’t easily measured…
a lesson..
a beautiful surprise at dawn..
Thank You Master.
slavemoon
thirtynine one
Posted by: | CommentsReflections of 39…
my 39th birthday celebration… comes and goes.. like the river.. it flows.
Long have been my ego based habits.. “its MY day.. ” all about the mara show!
and for most.. thats great. and for me.. thats great.. except it gets in my way to truly seeing who i am.
who am i ? what am i ? what have i become ? what will become of me?
i have built an identity.. it is a construction.. made of memories and emotions..judgments and conclusions.
is this what i am?
is what i am a myth of my own making? am i simply a shadow of my own ego?
how can i tell what i am? am i this heart that beats? am i this brain that thinks?
on my 39th birthday.. why do i have expectations? am i 39 ? what is that?
This day is the same day.. now is the same time as then.. so i will attempt to reflect..
Yes.. i am a shadow of an ego.. an ego that is not all of my own. However, it is not a simple one.. my ego is the back bone of what i believe i am…
my Master shows me something different.. and i struggle to see. and am infinitely thankful for His incite. He has proven time and time again i am a product of only my mind.. i am more than my mind however…
i think i am both. my mind.. and more than my mind.
i can tell who i am when i am awake. when i am moving in peacefulness and in pain..as long as i am THERE… truly only there. HERE.. not there. being here.
BEING HERE.. actually here. is here not there as well ? i am not wise enough to know.. i think it is both.
Master… i do not wish to burden You.. but please hold the mirror again and again.. please i beg.. hold it tirelessly.. hold it infinitely…show me what You know…hold my hand and keep me close.
part of what i am is You… You.
circular …
Posted by: | Comments4-15-09
To cling to the river.. to be hopelessly wet.. to cry salty tears that no one can see.
To live in the fear.. the black hole of nothingness.. to move in the fear.. and TRY to not fear.. challenges challenges.
To give nothing.. it is not giving.. it is not receiving.. it is. ISNESS.
my Master is infinitely wise… and i am infinitely dim. a dark horse..plodding. a lowly creature of ill advise and selfish mind.
Expressing myself so poorly.. being myself so poorly… i dare to pear into His eyes and believe i saw a light.. i saw nothing.
nothing is everything… and everything is all consuming.
Master… i look to You for security , strength , direction… please point me continuously…
To cling to the river… to hold tight the ice… to posses my Masters heart.. foolish all.
Foolish me.
and i am the pursuant.. and i take that all wrong too… thoughts circle back.. infinitely back to black.
Tomorrow is almost here !!!!
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