KILTER Magazine Fall Issue Magazine Release PartyArchive for Thoughts & Feelings
a thankyou …
Posted by: | CommentsThank You Cute Master …
for sending me this nice picture …. i really like it !!!
Zen Masters wife
4 years of FUN !!!
Posted by: | Commentsi love my Master beyond words…. W/we have such FUN !!! He makes me laugh my head off… W/we are just big kids !!!
Hers’s some pics from O/our great dinner W/we had at SoulVeg for O/our anniversary !! We had a GREAT time !!
4=1460=1
Posted by: | Comments4 Years = 1460 Days & Nights!
6-9-10 marks mara & I’s 4 Year anniversary*
I prefer to look at it as 1460 days..
Each day a page in the book of life..
Each sentence, a moment in time,
Each word, cohesion of consciousness,
Each letter, the presence of Now,
& it has been a wonderful Chapter!
The Master/slave path is a challenging road to walk down
It takes a deep commitment & is not for the weak hearted…
We have been through many ups & downs, left & rights, twists & turns
but we remain always true to O/our Union.
& it has been a fruitful journey that I wouldn’t change for anything!
Since I’m an artist, one way I show my appreciation & honor for something is by making some art to reflect how I feel..
It allows me to express visions of a deeper nature than I can express in ordinary language.
So I did this art in honor of our 1460 days together & counting!
I now express bows to the life journey & to those who have found love in there lives,
also to those whom have entered this path of Master/slave;
may we take these sacred lessons of higher love & unbreakable bonds
which are taught to us by our relationships
& find the strength to extend this love outward
to share it with the whole World.
Love to my slavegirl maramuun
Love to O/our sacred Journey together
Love to All*
Love as One*
-Master Dvnt
Self Consciousness-The connection killer
Posted by: | Commentsi wish it could say that its rare .. or newly developed .. or a phase.. but its not …
i am very self conscious … and sometimes it’s a connection killer …
i get so wrapped up in judging myself .. and wondering what people are thinking about me ,, that i can’t even relax and enjoy what ever activities i am engaging at the moment …. and this is a vicious cycle .
so i am exposing these aspects of myself to the world and to myself.. how do i not now use these “defects” to further dig deeper this hole of self doubt …???
why is my answer to why i feel bad about how i look..that i need to diet .. i need to loose weight and get more fit .. and granted.. those ARE positive things and healthy,, but i actually think that no matter what i look like,, i don’t think it’s good enough …
and i’m not nice enough .. or friendly enough .. and yadda yadda yadda… the hole grows with each time at look at myself with these eyes …
and i want to love myself .. and be kind to myself ,,, and like myself … but the circle is unbroken ..i pray to break free of this .. i pray pray pray … to stop all this disconnecting – isolating – fear and loathing.
one fact … not all about me … just a reflection in the mirror today .
Before You…
Posted by: | CommentsThis is a message mara left me on FetLife...
I thought it was very beautiful & I wanted to share it here with others*
Love to glowing moonbeems... love to ALL*
-Master Dvnt
~
The greatest joy in life is to Sirve .. and Love ..
it is with honor that i do these things in Your name, Lord.
i kiss Your lotus feet in divine rapture..
i shine Your boots in devoted duty …
i kneel before You .. as Your loving slave of 4 years (in june) with
the heart of a new born … the mind of an infant and the hands of a child …
i prostrate to You Master … i give You my ALL…
always in all ways…
Incredible Experience ….
Posted by: | CommentsUpdate from Sunday April 25
Incredible – Exhausting – Enthralling – Amazing !!!
Sunday was the first “sitting” for my skin illustrations…and it was a fantastic experience !!
The day started really nice around the house with cleaning and a rainy run .. then it was off to visit Mr. Jason Vaughn at Deluxe Tattoo… i was not nervous at all until Master says to me “OOH… your going to be in pain.. hahahahahaha” .. it was at that point that the memories of my past work started to creep in my head.. and i got a little scared ! It had been quite a while since i was “under the needle” … but W/we continued on !!!!
So… there i am .. putting on my tube top … and looking at the BEAUTIFUL illustrations that Mr.V had done and i really felt blessed … blessed that my Master was there with me.. supporting me in this .. blessed that Jason was so very talented .. and blessed that it was time to transform .. literally!
My experience of the actual tattooing was very intense .. the pain became very severe toward the end .. he worked about 2.5 hours … by the last 15 minutes i was really feeling the intense physical sensation (thanks Fakir ! ) … but it was really worth it …
Jason got all the outlines done of the back piece of the work .. and shaded in the “cover up” area.. we will be shading in the rest of the illustration next tim.. then onto the chest …
i really wanted to say a special THANKS to my Master… His support and understanding has made this transformation possible … like a pupa transforms to a dragonfly .. so do i .. going from one place to the next .. taking this old skin with me as i go …
Here are so pics of the work in progress ….
the lotus , the dragonfly ....
The problem with Stressin out
Posted by: | Comments3-1-2010
Its not the problem thats the problem….
Its how you handle the problem,, thats the problem … Ed ! (quote from Rubin & Ed )
and its SSSOOO TTRRRRUUUEEEE !!!
The feeling of resistance appears from time to time… and its in these moments thati need to remember to not be in opposition … be open … do not resist …but i do . and i’m sure my Master would be able to talk alot better about this than me.. at least about the positive parts.. i’m much more versed in the negative … neh saying !!
neh sayer
so today was one of those days … and i had a bit of trouble being accepting of some assorted “crap” and it got me to thinking about HOW to not be mad- resentful and then of course turn it back onto me … and i remembered some easy phrases that always seemed glib but are true !!
Just looking at the truth of the situation .. and not filtering through my interpretation … i can see that i pass judgement on how things are effecting me .. and i take my que from what i think things should be or what i would rather them be.. rather than just as they are .. and the wounds can hurt … and i get mad !!! but i see that this is really just my reaction to myself.. really really its just me …. GGGAAHHHH !!!!
so.. if it is just me .. i will choose to turn my frown upside down … and not react negatively and through fear … i resolve to continue on this path .. seeing myself without judgments and not judging others …
So… for this day i choose to let a smile be my umbrella ….
signed ~
slavemuuuuuun
The original VD …
Posted by: | CommentsTo my Master ~
from 2007 to today … Happy Valentines Day …
my first valentine i made for You...
still l8ve You , Master .
forever and forever.
Your good little bad girl
and the road goes on forever…
Posted by: | CommentsFeb 6 2010…
The continuos road unwinds …..i don’t stand at a cross roads.. for my path has no deviation … i dont see a spur … i don’t see on off ramp … i am on my path … the one that has lead me into town… and will take me out when the time is right. In the dark of night or brightness of light.. i step ever forward on my path.
the road behind
Feb 6 2010…
i look back … i glance at that stretch of road behind.. and i see joy and pain as well.. i wear the marks of those dichotomous moments like some fools flag .. i speak specifically about a tattoo i have on my neck.. that at the time seemed perfect … and it was .. and it is ..but now is ripe for transformation … Master and i have been deciding what to do as a new neck tattoo for a long time… and now the time has arrived …. what the end result will be is a beautiful unknown.. but the new mark will be a prideful reminder that all things pass… even a love that you thought would never die can wither and turn sour in a blink of times eye.
The road of NOW
So that brings me to examine my intense draw to be marked and/ or branded in honor of my Master .. i would really love to get a devotional marking for Him.. but for just a moment i recall the unflinching conviction i felt as i committed to a big ol name across my neck .. and i see my self projecting into the future … is this unwise ?? and i say NO !!!! it isnt stupid nor was the tattoo i have now wrong … i believe in the righteousness of my path .. and see no “problems” or fear in this …. so i will move forward in the honor of this moment … and create a mark that celebrates the phoenix rising- the Sun shining and the moon never dieing.
in His honor … i devote my flesh and bones ,,,
to Him ~ to the Universe.
at the Brink of a Cross-Roads….
Posted by: | Comments
Back in Chicago….
Nice to be here*
Work has currently calmed down for me right now.
At the brink of a cross-roads….
Life is utterly beautiful… with endless probabilities…
Abandoning all barriers of self…
….the shadow drops away.
No fears.. No doubts… No longing.. No anger or anguish… No regrets.. No anxiety, mental afflictions or disturbances… No anticipations or expectations.. No unfulfilled desires… No wishes, no wants, or not-wants…
A living verification that underneath it all, you are the Buddha.
I feel translucent…
Just here.. All embracing…
With open hands,
Open Heart,
Open Mind.
With nothing to cling to, this body is clear like sunlight shining through untainted waters.
I see this light in all things…
I see no-thing at all.
I am the birds..
I am the blade of grass…
I am the Cosmos…
..in the spiders web.
I am the voice residing in every heart…
I am the darkness you can not see…
I am everything you have known, & not known…
I am like the captive, yet completely free.
Just let the current flow*
Like a leaf in the wind,
Life carries this body wherever it may go.
Actually every moment is a Grand Cross-Roads….
Actually every moment is only one moment….
Actually there is no moment at all…
no time at all.
No cross-roads at all.
Unfathomable to the human mind…. such awing power this holds.
How can I express to you what I see? It is such an impossible task…
Nothing to know…
Yet I know…
I know it must be.
-Master DVNT | Sou Fugon
love
Posted by: | Commentsi love You Master !!
Awake in Atlanta ~ a mid nights kiss
Posted by: | CommentsJust after having been ravaged by my Master … and enjoying His body in mine.. i was fully energized while my darling Love sleeps in O/our hotel room ….
i’ve been tooling around the internet and even bought Master a surprise present (shh.. i’ll LIE and tell Him its from santy claws!) … then i looked at some pictures of U/us and was complled to write a bit about His mouth…
it is an object of my affection … i love His teeth (i have two in a box
Masters mouth
which He gave me two years ago)..
i love His lips … i love His tongue and how it feels on mine ..
i recall when W/we first met and how W/we would kiss and kiss for what seemed like hours … i wanted it to never end .. and i still don’t.. i cherish every kiss .. every peck and every passionate embrace from my Master.
Last night i felt His mouth on me.. on my neck .. with delightful love bites. so strong upon my neck .. and how that sends chills into my very soul … it sparked a river .. a HOT river .. that ran for my Masters pleasure.
And tonight my Master pressed His lips upon me in sweetness and in love .. as an overture to O/our evenings “romp” … a lovely gesture W/we share each time… i thank You , Lord.. thank You for loving me …
i am writing this message of Thanks and love to my Master .. to all whom might share these words … to express my jOy and passion for kissing … the connection i feel wit my Master is so strong and real .. and kissing is a wonderful expression of that!
For twas not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
Twas not my lips you kissed
But my soul
Judy Garland
Masterever ….
talking to myself under the train tracks.. thank You for walking down those stairs.. and KISSING my soul an taking me as Yours.
5 Days…Whensday….
Posted by: | CommentsIts been a wonderful and interesting 5 days with my Master … He and i have been able to really connect and grow during this ThanksTaking holiday weekend … With all the hustle and bustle of our schedules and events.. it brought lots of opportunity for discovery , reflection and growth … i am so Thankful for every day .. and these last few were really meaningful.
Day One ~ Day job and Spanksgiving Eve party …
my day job is very stressful to me ,, and i have been working on facing the issues that i have in relation to my career … so the day at work was stressful but i didn’t let it get to me .. i was able to see the situation as transitory and not feel attached to the stress… i practiced patience and understanding but not without effort .. so a potentially “bummer” day turned out to be an opportunity to put my theories into practice… and it was a success !!! When i was in a meeting with the owner of the company .. i didn’t take her negativity as a personal attack and was able to view it impartially …i left the office feeling good !!!
The Spanksgiving Eve party was pretty ok.. i helped Master be the dungeon monitor, but there wasn’t much to monitor.. a not too many people were playing .. but i had the chance to look at my “uptightness” and see that alot of my issues come from my feelings of jealousy and resentment … i actually feel jealous of other peoples freedoms and ability to be comfortable in public sexual scenes … i find myself longing to feel free.. free of my judgments of myself.. free of my fear ,,, but honestly,,, i would have NO PROBLEM if Master ever wanted to play with me like that .. the couple times He DID play with me like that.. i really really enjOyed it … but i respect His choice to NOT play with me like that .. i understand His motivations and reserve. i , once again , was able to observe that 99% of my issues are steamed from my feelings of desire , self judgement , and self centerdness.. and that i wear a mask of “prudence” to cover up my longing … the adage “thou doth protest too much ” is fairly poignant to sum up this obscure school marm attitude. Master always says i’m the most perverted prude He knows … and its true .. i am. o the Spanksgiving night showed me a glance behind my mask … i think i see a bit of REAL skin coming out … maybe a few eyelashes !! Master has NO IDEA i’m writting about this.. so i look forward to his comments about this one …
This realization is is marvelous … i am happy to look at myself in REAL life .. look at what i have become .. and where i am going …
Master and i had a nice time though.. it was nice chatting with friends and hanging out …
Heres a pic from that night … CUTE !!!
The Gift that keeps on Giving...
Disiderata